Always want a peaceful January.

The month of January is always the month that I am anticipating for. No other reason aside as it is my birth month. In younger days, I would expect how many people would be wishing me, how many gifts will I get and so on. As I get older, I just wish for one thing. I hope I can spend my birthday calmly and peacefully. I no longer need a lot of people around me to celebrate it with me. As long as I have sincere friends and family by my side, I am more than content. And I am always grateful to have those friends who never forget my birthday and take effort to take me out, to give me something on time for my birthday. 

I realized this when I get older. Old friends who know you well no longer try to ask you out on your exact birthday. They will do it in advance or at a later date. All because they know you may want to spend that day with someone very dear to you. I really am very grateful to have not only one, but a bunch of friends who are so caring.

I have forgotten since which year, my dearest friends started to have only one and same wish for my birthday. That wish is no other than me getting a boyfriend who love me sincerely. I stay single since my last relationship back in 2008, it is hitting the the 9th year in 2017. I have be single all the while for nine years. I know it sounds ridiculous but there are people out there who are still virgin in relationship for the entire life too. So I don't really think my condition is that of a big deal. While I do wish to once again experience the taste of dating, I am taking my step real slow. I have kind of getting used to be alone, I know this doesn't do good but habit is a habit, hard to change. But fear not my dear friends, I will give more effort to come out from the shell and started looking for the right guy.

This year not not only that my birthday fell on a weekday, but that I need to go for event. It was a really long day for me, the 11th, 12th and 13th. I experienced what I wish to avoid facing during my birthday. On the 11th, I had a very long day dealing with artwork for clients, on the 12th a very long working hours and drenched in sweat and I become so smelly on my birthday, and on 13th client throwing tantrum at me for thing that partly not my fault (but I have to take responsibility too since I am the person in charged).

It is just some mishap that always happen in life and I shall not mind too much of it. I just wish for the work to end smoothly and everything to come peacefully till end of Chinese New Year. I will and always hope for a peace and calm January.

Last but not least, I still wanna wish myself a Happy Birthday! 

You crave your own path, be proud of it

For many, those around my age are now already holding a senior position or even managers, being having years of experience in the field they stepped on upon graduating. It has been 4 years since I last finish my degree course. And I am still holding a junior position. To be honest, I do sometimes doubt on my choices on my career path.

Once I graduated, I put myself in a casting agency doing all the casting jobs for television commercials. Then, I found myself in an media/advertising agency which amused me in many ways. Later on, I made a total change and put myself in a beauty/ retail line that makes me shiver every single working day, not knowing what kind of people I will interact with. And now I am in a totally new field, working in a exhibition contractor company, dealing with building up and ordering furniture.

While I am being a bit jealous and admire how people have years of working experience, I found out that people are actually also envy of my diverse experiences throughout my career path. Thinking on this, I am grateful that I have been able to experience things that only I can experience it. I am even more grateful that my family gave me the freedom to do what I wanted to do and full support both emotionally and financially on my choices.

I will no longer think on whether it is right or wrong on my decisions. Everyone is unique on their own. Even if you follow their path, it wouldn't be totally right for you. Everyone has their own dreams and you yourself crave the path for it. I will now only focus on not to regret whatever decisions that I have made. Letting the past be a part of my precious memories and move on to make sure that I will smile when I look back at my journey. 

Assumption or Expectation? I see no difference and it kills

Two years ago, I have decided to quit my career as a media planner, or even so to quit the media line. It took me for more than 6 months to finally come with this decision. It wasn't an easy one because each step you take play a little to your future journey. While I am still young and have little to no commitment now, I have decided to pursue something which I wanted to do since I was 16.

The reason behind making a drastic change is definitely to fulfill one of my dreams and I take it as a stepping stone for me to work at my dream country. I have finally be able to put my words into action and I finally took up an esthetician course. I clearly remembered that the tutor asked the reason of me taking the course, where do I want to work upon finishing the course. While it wasn't in a short term plan, I did say I wanted to go Korea.

I have given it a very careful thought. The chance for me to be able to work at Korea as a media planner is really really small. That's is why I have decided to quit my job and get a certificate in beauty therapy. At least, I got a skill and it shall help me in getting into Korean company.

Now, I have come to realize that people do take words seriously and it is way beyond my understanding. I am not sure whether they think too lightly on career pathways or maybe I am the one who knows nothing. The people from my beauty academy are thinking that I am going to Korea soon to be a beauty therapist. I am not sure what makes them keep thinking that I am going oversea soon.

Everytime when I was back to the academy or I texted them, they will surely ask me when am I going Korea or whether I have already gone oversea. I wonder what makes them think it is that easy to go oversea. Do they really think it is that easy to get a job with just a beauty cert? Even though I have mentioned that I wanted to work at Korea, it doesn't mean I will go right away upon completion my beauty course.

I wanted to work in a company here in Malaysia that provides me opportunity to go Korea, not just me blindly go there looking for a job. While I have little commitment, it doesn't mean I have no commitment at all. What I said at that time doesn't mean it is still applicable now. Yes, I do still wanna work at Korea, but the career path can change accordingly. Please don't just simply put assumption on people.

No one hopes to be pathetic

For many many times, I have told myself to hold back and not to be busybody. But the soft-hearted side of me keep forgetting this and tend to keep myself busy over other people matters again. I think it is embedded within myself to help others at least in being a listener and try to give some opinions because I truly know what's the feeling like when you want to speak to someone but there isn't somebody out there.

I did the same thing again and this time I do get myself into some trouble. It seems like I have lost something but at the same time I do feel great for knowing this earlier. It is better to lose something before it is too late. I think I gained more this time rather than losing more. Nevertheless, human is still human and I am those emotional one. I can't keep myself being too optimistic for not feeling sad for what happen. It has been long since I feel so emotional again. 

Everytime when I feel sad, I have no idea why I would automatically think of the past. It has been near to 7 years, ridiculously I still feel overly sad thinking of that moment. I love myself very much that I also hate myself very much for being so pathetic. Why can't I get over that matter? Do I really need 10 years to fully let it go? Do I need to wait till I am 28? I thought my tears have dried out at that times, but why there are more? Why do I have so much tears? At times, I not sure whether I am lucky to have experience that at a young age or unlucky for having to experience that so early. It has then changed my perception over boy-girl relationship.

All the while, it will be a lie if I say do not want to be involve in a relationship. However, previous experience has stopped me from being one. I am truly afraid that similar thing will happen once again and I do not have the courage to experience it once more. I have been shutting it down for near to 7 years. I am curious when will I be able to open the door again. I just wish to stay happy.

It's been long

Facebook has this kind of reminder thingy where it reminds you what you did or post on today few years ago. It is really nice as you can reminisce what you have done years ago.

It was 14th Dec that day. Facebook reminds me of what I did on 14th few years back. Actually 14th Dec is a hug day for Koreans, it is some kind of Valentine's day. It is a day that have different meaning for me. Kind of anniversary but doesn't worth to be celebrated for. It marks the 6th consecutive years of me being single since my last relationship.

I didn't know that relationship would make me stay single for so long. It has been a precious memory for me but it also haunt me about being in a relationship. I wish my heart wouldn't be hurt like this anymore in the future.

Sometime even until now, I will be emotional thinking about the memories I have had. Not because of the particular person, but because of the particular memories. 

What does Clubbing means to you?

I have always like the idea of clubbing. To some people, clubbing to them is associated with a bad meaning, getting drunk and out of control, or even involve in some drug related substances. Actually, clubbing isn't that bad nor dangerous as what your parents told you. But it is undeniable that you need to listen to your parents' advice on be extra careful when you go to club. 

So what does clubbing means to me? To me, clubbing is a form of relaxation for human being, both physically and mentally. Clubbing isn't just about swallowing alcoholic liquid and moving your body to the left and right. It is a form of socializing with your friends, get to know your friends better and even get to know new friends. 

For this to happen, first and foremost, you have to mingle with the right people. The right people I mean here are not those usual gang that you went out with having tea or coffee session. These persons must be outgoing, sociable, and most importantly a drinker. If he or she doesn't drink, why would you want her/him to be at the club? Don't tell me orange juice taste better at clubs.

Secondly, you would need someone who are good at playing games. I am not referring to those games with full concentration like chess. I am talking bout card games, dice and some simple and easy to play games. We usually play games like Big Two (or better known as Chor Dai Dee), Blackjack or dice games. You don't have to be really good at it, knowing the basic rules will do. If these games are too boring, you will always have that someone who always have new games to introduce to you all. 

Thirdly, it is always an advantage to club with someone who can dance. The dance here I am not referring to those hip hop or b-boy, those street dance. I am talking about those who can feel the music and move with the rhythm. If you still don't get it, we need someone like 'I jump, you jump'. We don't need fancy clubbers who dance like a pro, all we need is someone who can "move it move it" together with us. 

Not forgetting this, I shall advise you to club with small gang, around 5-6 people is the best. Why? If you ask me isn't it the more the merrier, I will say NO. The more people you have, the less fun you get. When we go to club, there is an opportunity to know new friends. If you tend to party with a whole bunch of friends, all you get to mingle with the same bunch of people. We Malaysian are still very shy in approaching people. How la people dare to approach you when you are surrounded with one whole gang of people? Do remember this, lesser people more space.

Talking as if I am a frequent clubber, actually I am not. I don't remember when was the last time I went to a club, maybe around 2 years ago. Why? Because I have always been to club with a whole bunch of people. And in the whole bunch of people, not everyone drink or dance. With these people around, the level of FUN-ness will surely get reduced. I am a very cautious people, I don't get to really free myself when I am with people that I am not close with. I have yet to really get the right people to club with. But I do have form my own gang of drinking buddies.

My drinking buddies

We always went to nearby for a drink session and until recently, we went for another round at a place slightly further than our homes. This time, we not only went for just a drink, we also went to club. I think it has been over 2 years since I last went to a club. And probably the best one of all the clubbing experiences I have it here (except for the one I visited in Busan back in 2012).

There is no dance floor nor any Kpop songs (my fav) played but I do enjoy myself to the most. I don't dance like there is no tomorrow, but through dancing I have shredded off all the stress accumulated since I started working after graduated from my degree course. My shoulder feel much more lighter than before and I feel refreshed, both my mind and body. I know there are people out there thinking clubbing is a waste of time and money and is an unhealthy lifestyle. Different people have and prefer different methods to release stress. I am not saying that one should go clubbing whenever they have a need to release stress. Go for clubbing once in a while wouldn't really damage you that much isn't it? I am not asking you to visit very high end clubs and drink tonnes of alcohol or drink some fancy wine or champagne. Just bear in mind that having moderate alcoholic drinks can help in blood circulation. And dancing actually makes you feel younger, at least in your heart.

You must remember, you only live once. Why not try something fast pace and exciting while you still have the energy and passion? It wouldn't feel the same when you do it at a later age though you are doing the same thing. Youth doesn't stop for you and do appreciate and make use of it when you are at it. Go to clubs people!

It isn't easy to be bad to be kind

The above picture has nothing to do with this post, just that I really hope both parties can work it out and we get what we and the members hope for, Girls' Generation with 9 members.

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I have been lucky that my parents strictly implemented the important of education in my mind since I was young. I am lucky enough to have love studying and had always been in the first/top classes or been assigned in the group with better grade. Though I lost 1/3 of the passion in studying after PMR, I am determined to at least get a degree before putting an end to schooling life.

People around me especially my high schoolmate have always considered me as the best student, the one who know it all when it comes to education. I admit that I am a bit arrogant as I have always been in the first class. And I do feel bad being treated as the smart one when I am not really that smart.

I have heard people told me that I am soft and kind, those kind of person. While I am not that smart, I am more that happy to provide assistance as long as I am capable of. Be it in study or companion, I give my best to provide help. While companion may be a bit hard as I am not that kind of person that could just leave my house at any time or any occasion. But if my knowledge in education is essential, I will provide as much as I can. 

HOWEVER, there is a limit to what I can help or saying how much I am willing to help. As a student myself, I believe the top most responsibility is to study hard. The basic one will be doing your assignment by your own. Isn't this the most basic one for every student out there?

While people think that I am better in English and people would like my favour in checking their assignment piece, I am more than happy to proofread the essay to check those minor mistakes or to pinpoint those sentences which seem grammatically wrong. But please remember that there is a limit to what I can provide.

I know there are people out there who do your assignment for some fee. I totally oppose to this kind of facility. I believe that it is your own responsibility to do assignment given that you have chosen to study. No matter what are the offer you could give me, I will not do your assignment for you.

Each one of us have a different writing style. Lecturer are smarter than what you think they are as they can easily find out whether that piece of essay is from you yourself or from another hand. Please don't assume that they won't find out just because they need to mark hundreds of papers.

I do not know what are your relationship with that friend of you that you are the only one who he/she can beg for help. I am thankful that you think of me, but I do not like being taken for granted. It is not one or twice, if I still provide assistance this time, I am pretty sure there won't be an end for this. I know you are trying to be helpful, but you shouldn't have promise your friend with something that is beyond your capabilities.

I remembered clearly that I told you last time, that the best will be your friend taking an additional course to brush up his/her English. If you are saying it is too rush, then why do you always only ask for help when the deadline is near and why don't you take action before it happen when you already know the same thing will happen? You are asking people not only to proofread your piece, you are also asking people to help you rephrase it. I am not you, I won't be able to know clearly what you are trying to say by just looking at your grammatically wrong sentence.

I know it isn't easy to paraphrase a quote when you need to cite it in your piece. Your vocabulary need to be strong  and I know it is hard. There are various way for citation and if you can't really paraphrase it, just cite the quote as it is. Citation is something you need to be familiar with and it is you top best friends in college life.

I would like to help, but I do have my own principle to. I won't do something beyond my principle. You may say I am being bad for not proving help at this very last moment where you hardly can find help from other people. But I am sure that you will not take action to correct and rather depend on other people if I still help you this time. Yes, I am being cruel with the hope that you take action to upgrade yourself and not just depend on other people.

Like I said before, I am more than happy to help but I do have my own principle. Thanks.

我很坏吗？

今年将会是我单身的第五年了。真的不知不觉就这样就五年了。时间真的过的很快。有时我都在问自己为何还是单身，但就是得不到答案。自然而然，我也放弃了去追问，让一切顺其自然。也因让一让，就来到了第五年了。

现在的我已开始工作了，身边的同事都是已有伴侣的。我并不是想说在公司里没希望因为我根本没想过也根本不想在公司里跟任何一人有较亲密的接触，达到恋人的关系。虽然在一起工作可以天天见面，但这不是理想的。可以避免的话，我不想要这样。

慢慢跟同事聊天，就慢慢的发觉她们都是有男朋友的。每当一一的发现她们是在恋爱的，我都会在心里面小小声地问自己我到底怎么了。我自问我并不差，学历算不错，样貌也不算丑。但我就是孤独一人。

有位同事， 她大我一年，当然比我有工作经验。可是她对工作或者生活的思想真的有时蛮幼子。我并不是想说我很成熟，但她的那个程度真的有够令我难以接受。就比如说加班到7点才回，她就一副丑脸那样，还跟我说已经有两天她10点晚上才吃晚餐。小姐，本公主我差不多每晚八点半才离公司，每晚十点才吃晚餐。你那两天算什么？你在这行做了两年有多，难道你不比我根了解这一行的工作时间吗？我都还没怨你怨什么？

最令我生气的就是她这条件的女生都能找到男朋友而我找不到。我知道有这样的想法的我真的很坏，可是我真的控制不了也理解不到。是我本人太有问题还是我的个性太过自我？我真的想不通咯。

有人说我眼角高，但我是吗?我并没有说我要一个怎样怎样或者有什么条件的男朋友。我只想找一个能让我动心，对我真心的人，难道这样就是眼角高吗？谈恋爱不就是要找一个真心对待自己的人吗？如果他不能让你动心，你又如何会爱上他呢？难道我这道理是无理取闹吗？

请告诉我，我到底有那里不好，不好到没人要。

原来是脆弱的

闭上眼睛，用心去聆听您的心声

已是十一月了。两个月后我们就要迎接2014年的到来。回想起，时间真的过的很快。一眨眼就快过完了我二十二岁这一年。虽然还没有真真的过完2013年，但我很想写一下我在今年的心情是怎样的。

在2013年里是我开始人生第二阶段的开始。我在年头就把我的学生身份画个据点。在LengLeng帮我庆祝22岁生日那天，我就感觉到我已搭入了人生第二个阶段。我很清楚明白我是不会再回到学生生活了。原因是我已经放弃了念书的年头。虽然我很想念学校生活，但人总要接受事实。已经过了19年念书的生活，是时候出来赚钱养家了。

今年我生日时收到的祝福都是要我快快找个男朋友。哈哈，我的朋友们都很可爱。我知道她们都很关心我。前阵子跟许久没见面的lengleng聚会，突然间谈到了结婚。Ann Ann就说了理想结婚年龄是28岁。这也是我的理想结婚年龄，我也说了最早我可以接受是26岁。Ann Ann点下头表示她也同意我。然而她突然间说 “哎呀，很快就到了，你要快点找男朋友了，给你一年，一年好像不够，给你两年的时间快点去找男朋友”。听到这一番话，我真的很开心有怎么关心我的好友。

说真的，我已单身快4年了。心里面已经空虚到不懂怎么形容了。想要恋爱的感觉早已出现，可是就是爱不下去。近期来每当我一个人在车里回家的途中听到了情歌，我都有很想落泪的感觉。也许是因为接近年尾的关系，我变得特别的脆弱。十二月对我来说是没什么值得期待的。几个月前，我翻看了我的部落各，看回了一片文章我的泪忍不住地落下来了。之后偶尔我也会看回那片文章。

我对那份感情早已放下。但我现在发觉原来我未能放下的那时受到的伤害。我没办法不去想那时的我心里面是有多难受。我已经很努力的去克服这个痛苦。 但我真的做不到。倔强性格的我，心里面难受到快崩溃了却不允许在别人面前流泪的我，真的无法呼吸了和别人说我还难过，他们只会觉得是我放不下那段感情。感情和伤害是两回事。还难过不一定是代表还爱着对方。

你可以问我为何四年了还放不下，我可以回你有些事就算再多久，就算你是铁人也未必能做得到。很想把这份写到好好的，可是我已写不下去了。心里面的伤，用字体是表达不到的。四年了还放不下，我也很恨我自己。我不期待十二月，也不期待圣诞节。

Nervous Never Stop Coming

Crayon Pop- Bar Bar Bar

So, I have finally found myself a job and will be starting on Wednesday on the 18th. The company is one where media students will really wish to work at. However, I have to say it is not my first choice, or I should say it never come in my list. My passion is always on event management and I would hopefully going to entertainment company or something sort of that. There is one that I really love to go, but their company is not in need of manpower in KL branch. So I have to give up. Just to clarify, the company I am going is a really huge company with its international base and the company is really great (good benefits for employees).

I am going to be a media planner, and honestly I am still not fully understand what I am going to do. Perhaps, I will get the hold of it when I started it. I am really nervous and worry now thinking how am I going to interact with new working environment and colleagues. I am really comfortable with the previous working place coz all young people and we communicate crazily (we are a bunch of crazy people and our jobs are just so crazy). Coming to this, it reminds me of my internship working environment. It was really hard to remember all the colleagues' names and communicate with them freely. I can only remember those in my department and I was still shy around them after being there for two months. I did got more comfortable thanks to the Christmas party. 

Anyway, I am gaining weight like a boss. Oh well, I should say the weight didn't really skyrocket, it just like 1kg. BUT!!! I have become chubbier and chubbier! OMG!!! I have got to exercise! I needa to go to gym! I am indecisive in going which gym. I can only get that allowance once I am done with probation. Oh my, help me please!! 

#D2 #Lifeofunemployed 

P/S: Oh my! I lake of formal wear and please tell me what should I wear!!

曾经的小幸福

已经有一段时间我没用华语来写部洛格了。因为用华语的话，我需要很长的时间来写。因为我华语不好，没上过正式的课。如果你有看过我之前的文章，你就能猜到每当我用华语就代表我有点不开心。可是这一次我并没有不开心，我只是觉得用华语比较有感觉。

我相信每个人都有自己的小幸福。每个人的小幸福的定义都不同。那我曾经的小幸福又会是什么呢？嘻嘻。

友达以上 恋人未满，这就是暧昧。不知道你们有没有看过《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》。这套戏有提到暧昧是最美好的。暧昧的日子，是令人最怀念的。因为暧昧里，所有的一切都是美好的。我也很荣欣有机会体会到不一般的暧昧。

我的第一段恋情，那个暧昧的日子因该有大约半年的时间。只可惜那段恋情一个月都不到，我和他就分了。之后我遇上了我的第二段恋情。我们暧昧的时间不多，但是我们就稳稳的在一起大约八个月。如果那时我不是因为学业，如果他当时没放我走，我想我现在还会跟他在一起呢。虽然如此，我也要感谢他的放手。如今，我和他根了解彼此，也变得无法没有彼此的好朋友。我很感谢上帝让我认识了他。我会好好珍惜我们的友情。友谊万岁！！！

讲了这么久其实我要分享的小幸福，就是我的第三段恋情啦。这个美梦发生在我中三那一年。中三那一年的某一天，我还记得recess时总觉得有个人在跟着我。他敢敢的跟我要号码。我的小幸福就在那一天开始。我就称呼他为N好了。

刚开始，我并没有答应要给他我的号码。我只是跟他说我想想先。有人想认识我，我当然开心啦，可是我也要看看他是怎样的人才能跟他做朋友啊，这叫自我保护。让我很开心也很惊讶的事发生了。早上上学时，我一踏入学校的大门，他就在那里等着我，陪我走进学堂里。放学时，他也会等我，陪我走出学校。我这样大约走了一个星期，然后我告许他我没办法给他我的号码。他当然很失望，可是之后我不记得了，我们又怎样交换号码了。

就这样，我每一天早上来上学和下午放学都有人在等我和陪我走一段不超过一分钟的路程。放学后，他会sms我或打给我聊天。不知不觉，我每天都在等他的出现。有一天，上学时我没在大门里看到他。说实话，我有点失望和好奇他为何不在。然后，他突然跑过来很紧张的样子，好像怕他错过了我那样。我的确有点小开心。这样幸福的日子一直维持到那一年的12月。这样的暧昧，你们体验过吗？我曾经把这故事告许我的一个好妹妹。她说她好羡慕我，因为从来没有人这样等过她。

那暧昧停了，我们没在一起。可是，三年后我们的暧昧又继续了。没有了你等我我等你的日子，可是我们就换了另一个方式来保持属于我们的暧昧。之后，我终于不知不觉中爱上N了。我们也开花结果了。但是，长期的暧昧换来的只是两个月的恋情。在一起两个月后，我们就个走个的。他很快就放下，我却用了三年的时间来看开那段恋情。

他在两年前就找到了新欢。我也在那一刻，放下对他的留恋。我也用了两年来看开那个伤口。三年的时间虽然有点那长，可是我好了。

N先生，我要感谢你给我一个那么难忘的暧昧经验。你那时的狠心也让我长大了。我要告许你，我并没有恨过你。真的很谢谢你给过我的一切。今天开始，我会努力的只想我们曾经度过的开心回忆而不去想伤心的痛苦。希望你能和你的新欢永远开心，幸福美满，要活的开心噢！

A copycat or a follower?

L.Joe is ♥

Oh well, the picture above has nothing to do with the title. I just in love with L.Joe so much these days so I decided to post that picture up. I just can't resist in loving him. L.Joe is just so lovely. Ok I know I am CRAZY.

Back to the topic, yesterday I was quite fed up when I saw a conversation in Facebook. All the time, I have been persuading myself that that was all coincidence and nothing more than that. But considering all the 'coincidences', it is really hard to convince myself not to believe that she is following me. 

From the singer I idolized, the colour I preferred, the cartoon character that I am crazy for and the major I chose for tertiary education to the field where I wanted to work in. Can you say all these are just merely coincidence???

It is not that we grew that interest together, but all of it happened after I declared to the world that I am choosing it. AND me or the people around me and you has yet to even hear that you have interest on those things before I declared it. We don't even hear it for at least once.

I was quite angry when I saw that conversation. And luckily I got my friend to talk bout it rather than kept it in my heart. So now I am feeling better!!! But anyway, please stop following me on what I love, what mine decision is, and what I prefer!!

KTHXBAI!!!

Undecided...

Yesterday, I went for my first ever job interview in my life. It was an exhibition company located about 10 minutes from my house. I was actually hope that I can get the job because it is so near to my house that I won't have to spend too much time in traffic just to go for work or back home. But after leaving the company, I have no idea why I feel a little disappointed.

The interview went smooth and I did not get asked those common questions and the unique thing was that the medium used is not English but Mandarin. It went so smooth that I almost feel like bring hired right after the interview. But soon after that, I somehow wish they will say no to me so that I have an excuse not to work in that company.

The company is much more smaller than what I expected. But that is not my main concern, but I have no idea why I hope that they will say no to me. I don't really know what I really want. What's wrong with me?

And hell yea, I dyed my pink hair to dark colour. I feel like I am changed back to the old me. I think I became a happier person since I bleached my hair. However, the moment I removed my pink hair, I have become the emo me.

Where can I find a job that allows me to have neon colour hair? 나 정말 모르겠어....

Hello 2013!!

     I promised to make a blogpost on my summer camp in Busan. But then, the post never come out at all. Why? The picture resolution is high and it takes forever to upload it to here. Yes, and I have plenty of pictures taken back in Busan. So, maybe someday, when I am free, I will make a post. So, it has been over four months since my last post. That shows how hectic I was for the past four months till I have no time to write something here. Now, I do have some time.

     I have finally put an end to my degree life. It was the last semester that I got myself a P2 for a subject. And so it dragged down my CGPA. Still, I pass the subject and the whole course. But another sad case is that I may only attend my convocation on November and this means I am only getting my certificate after nearly one year upon my graduation. I do hope that UniSA send the parchment faster and I am eligible to attend the convocation on May.

     So, Chinese New Year is now over and I started looking for job. I am looking for job at event company (the best choice will be artiste management company, if possible teehee). I am really fed up with traffic jams but the all the event companies are either located in KL are or PJ. I am really in dilemma mode now and all of the sudden, I miss the time of me being a student. Student's life is the BEST!

     So back in January, I traveled to Bangkok with Eunice and Sue Ann. It's my first oversea trip with friends. The main purpose was to shops for CNY clothes. Oh my dear, all the clothes are so cheap. I feel like wanna go there again, it's a shopping paradise!!! It was like the 6th or 7th times I have been to Thai and my 3rd time to Bangkok. Lol...so if you are looking forward for some nice scenery pictures of Bangkok, I am sorry!! Check out the photo at my Facebook

     I also bleached part of my hair and dyed it to purple. But the result is not what I expected to be. And now it has faded to pink or orange or white. Where can I find a job with my current hair colour? I also went to Skybar. It is indeed a nice place to hang out, probably for the well being one. I love the atmosphere, wine plus chit-chatting. Wanted to go there again with my other half, if only I am able to find one.

     It was on the last day of CNY, I really love the makeup done. And of course, I camwhored. It is alreadt 2am now and I need to sleep. P/S : I just got the news that I may be able to attend the convo on May 18. You know what? That is the say TVXQ coming here for concert. What a coincidence!!!

In love with the dress, but a little bit too big

快要撑不住了。。。

ISC的大合照

从韩国回来有一个礼拜了。本来很想blog一下我在那儿的生活。可是一回到来就忙着赶功课和处理club的事，都没时间去blog了。而且我在那儿的故事也太多了。很懒惰去写。星期二要交功课了。可是我现在的心情很差，也很乱。乱到我都不懂自己在干嘛。

Club的事，我知道有几个都有很多东西忙。我知道我应该学习放手，可是每当我问起他们，到最后我会发现很多很多问题。那个event还有一个月罢了，这个那个还没弄好，你叫我怎么不担心呢？

学业的事，我又烦恼了。真的很难。对所有的一切，我都很想放弃。我很痛苦。

He is the Man, Lee Hanulyi

He is my man, Hanulyi

     After covering Red Soul on 13th, I am tempted to cover their showcase for the second day. This time, the showcase is at Bentley Music. To be honest, I am really grateful to cover the events on both day. Now I am able to drink to Giza Mall and Curve there all by myself. Back to the event, I think this is the sweetest moment of my life, can say that it makes my dream comes true.

     When I reach the venue, ME told me that the concept for today is 'Intimate' so there won't be any registration for media, nor special place. We can just sit anywhere to enjoy the music and get closer to Red Soul. Oh well, Migo and I sat at the front row (again n_n) and it's really really close to the stage. We know we couldn't take any nice pictures cause of the angle but we are reluctant to move to the back cause too many people already waiting there.

     So the show started and I am still sitting at the front row. I am so close to them and can see them very very clearly! At this moment, I am already very addicted to them. I have to admit that all of them are getting cheekier and cuter from yesterday. Hanulyi knows how to pose and catch all the cameraman's attention well. Alright, out of the 5 members, I like him the most. I ADMIT I LOVE HANDSOME GUYS. I kept on taking pictures of him and I know he realize that. And I purposely kept on taking pictures of him in hoping he will realize that I love him, LOL.

     As I mentioned earlier, my dream comes true on this day. Why? I always have this dream that a guy(whom I like) will propose to me by kneeling down and sing a song to me. This is one sweet dream which I pray hard for it to happen one day. And I guess that day has come.

     Red Soul is performing the song, Ting. In the chorus part, they will have the audience to join in and sang "부드럽게 달콤하게". They explains it means "softly" (gently) and "sweetly". While singing this song, Hanulyi certainly knows to how let the audience went shouting for him, only him. He makes a lot gestures and that makes us scream!!! During his solo part, he purposely stand one step forward to indicate it's his part. So for sure, I kept on snapping pictures of him. I know he saw me snapping pictures of him.

   You may ask how do I know. Let me explain. There is once, after I took a photo of him, from my camera screen, I saw him looking directly at my camera, as if I have direct eye contact with him. I was stunned and I put down my camera and just look at him. And so his solo "부드럽게 달콤하게" part reaches, he jumps down from the stage and stop right in front of me. At first, I thought "Yes, he comes so near so I can take a close up picture of him!!". But I never know that he will kneel right in front of me, hold my hand and serenade me with "부드럽게 달콤하게". At that moment, I can't really hear anything except the loud shouting from behind of me. I can only smile, and that's what I can do. Upon seeing this, Ki Hyun also jump down from the stage, hold my other hand and sing. I have no idea whom I should look at, but I just can't leave my eyes from Hanulyi. (Ki Hyun 오빠 , 미안해). Actually that moment only lasted a few seconds, but at the time, I feel like forever. Hanulyi ended it with a kiss on my hand. OH MY DEAR, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A HANDSOME GUY(KOREAN SOMEMORE) KNEEL DOWN, HOLD MY HAND AND SING TO ME, AND A KISS TOO!! 

Hanulyi holds my hand, n_n

     My heart flutters because of him. Though it's a bit different from my dream, it's already a paradise for me. I  am very sure that in the future when Red Soul gets more famous, there won't be any special moment like this anymore. I have no idea what to say anymore, typing the post is like making me think of the sweet moment again and I am in cloud nine now. I just can't stop smiling. A handsome guy who is cute and can sing well, where else can I find a guy like him other than Korea? Haha...I just love Koreans so much.

     I will end this post with a video that records my sweet sweet moment. Thank Yevon for recording and uploading it. Thank you very much!! Annyeong!! n_n