Always want a peaceful January.

The month of January is always the month that I am anticipating for. No other reason aside as it is my birth month. In younger days, I would expect how many people would be wishing me, how many gifts will I get and so on. As I get older, I just wish for one thing. I hope I can spend my birthday calmly and peacefully. I no longer need a lot of people around me to celebrate it with me. As long as I have sincere friends and family by my side, I am more than content. And I am always grateful to have those friends who never forget my birthday and take effort to take me out, to give me something on time for my birthday. 

I realized this when I get older. Old friends who know you well no longer try to ask you out on your exact birthday. They will do it in advance or at a later date. All because they know you may want to spend that day with someone very dear to you. I really am very grateful to have not only one, but a bunch of friends who are so caring.

I have forgotten since which year, my dearest friends started to have only one and same wish for my birthday. That wish is no other than me getting a boyfriend who love me sincerely. I stay single since my last relationship back in 2008, it is hitting the the 9th year in 2017. I have be single all the while for nine years. I know it sounds ridiculous but there are people out there who are still virgin in relationship for the entire life too. So I don't really think my condition is that of a big deal. While I do wish to once again experience the taste of dating, I am taking my step real slow. I have kind of getting used to be alone, I know this doesn't do good but habit is a habit, hard to change. But fear not my dear friends, I will give more effort to come out from the shell and started looking for the right guy.

This year not not only that my birthday fell on a weekday, but that I need to go for event. It was a really long day for me, the 11th, 12th and 13th. I experienced what I wish to avoid facing during my birthday. On the 11th, I had a very long day dealing with artwork for clients, on the 12th a very long working hours and drenched in sweat and I become so smelly on my birthday, and on 13th client throwing tantrum at me for thing that partly not my fault (but I have to take responsibility too since I am the person in charged).

It is just some mishap that always happen in life and I shall not mind too much of it. I just wish for the work to end smoothly and everything to come peacefully till end of Chinese New Year. I will and always hope for a peace and calm January.

Last but not least, I still wanna wish myself a Happy Birthday! 

You crave your own path, be proud of it

For many, those around my age are now already holding a senior position or even managers, being having years of experience in the field they stepped on upon graduating. It has been 4 years since I last finish my degree course. And I am still holding a junior position. To be honest, I do sometimes doubt on my choices on my career path.

Once I graduated, I put myself in a casting agency doing all the casting jobs for television commercials. Then, I found myself in an media/advertising agency which amused me in many ways. Later on, I made a total change and put myself in a beauty/ retail line that makes me shiver every single working day, not knowing what kind of people I will interact with. And now I am in a totally new field, working in a exhibition contractor company, dealing with building up and ordering furniture.

While I am being a bit jealous and admire how people have years of working experience, I found out that people are actually also envy of my diverse experiences throughout my career path. Thinking on this, I am grateful that I have been able to experience things that only I can experience it. I am even more grateful that my family gave me the freedom to do what I wanted to do and full support both emotionally and financially on my choices.

I will no longer think on whether it is right or wrong on my decisions. Everyone is unique on their own. Even if you follow their path, it wouldn't be totally right for you. Everyone has their own dreams and you yourself crave the path for it. I will now only focus on not to regret whatever decisions that I have made. Letting the past be a part of my precious memories and move on to make sure that I will smile when I look back at my journey. 

Assumption or Expectation? I see no difference and it kills

Two years ago, I have decided to quit my career as a media planner, or even so to quit the media line. It took me for more than 6 months to finally come with this decision. It wasn't an easy one because each step you take play a little to your future journey. While I am still young and have little to no commitment now, I have decided to pursue something which I wanted to do since I was 16.

The reason behind making a drastic change is definitely to fulfill one of my dreams and I take it as a stepping stone for me to work at my dream country. I have finally be able to put my words into action and I finally took up an esthetician course. I clearly remembered that the tutor asked the reason of me taking the course, where do I want to work upon finishing the course. While it wasn't in a short term plan, I did say I wanted to go Korea.

I have given it a very careful thought. The chance for me to be able to work at Korea as a media planner is really really small. That's is why I have decided to quit my job and get a certificate in beauty therapy. At least, I got a skill and it shall help me in getting into Korean company.

Now, I have come to realize that people do take words seriously and it is way beyond my understanding. I am not sure whether they think too lightly on career pathways or maybe I am the one who knows nothing. The people from my beauty academy are thinking that I am going to Korea soon to be a beauty therapist. I am not sure what makes them keep thinking that I am going oversea soon.

Everytime when I was back to the academy or I texted them, they will surely ask me when am I going Korea or whether I have already gone oversea. I wonder what makes them think it is that easy to go oversea. Do they really think it is that easy to get a job with just a beauty cert? Even though I have mentioned that I wanted to work at Korea, it doesn't mean I will go right away upon completion my beauty course.

I wanted to work in a company here in Malaysia that provides me opportunity to go Korea, not just me blindly go there looking for a job. While I have little commitment, it doesn't mean I have no commitment at all. What I said at that time doesn't mean it is still applicable now. Yes, I do still wanna work at Korea, but the career path can change accordingly. Please don't just simply put assumption on people.

一路好走

原本我想把2014年的第一个post来写下我今年如何度过我的生日。但我觉得没别的事比这个根重要。还记得，当我还陶醉在生日的回忆里，突然间受到这消息，我真的很不敢相信。

在15晚上，本来我很很兴奋拿到我已就等的电话。就在那时爸爸和哥哥就立刻出发去Kedah看我的师公。他是我爸爸的妈妈，我叫他为师公是因为她在约20年前出家了。知道他进医院了我的确很想跟着爸爸上Kedah。但应为有做工，所以不能去。 那时的我太累了，什么都想不到。好想师公没事，把工作赶快做完，让后可以安心的区澳洲。

16早上一醒来，妈妈就敲我的房门，说有东西要跟我讲。她小小声地说师公走了。还没睡醒的我还没来及有什么感受。妈妈就问我澳洲怎么办，还要不要去。我说我可以取消它。妈妈怕我没得去会不开心。其实说真的我并没有对这个旅行很兴奋。妈妈说师公的尸体会送回来KL。我知道我需要载妈妈去富贵那里，但我那天真的没办法拿假因为我还有东西还没干完。她说没关系，要我上班。她很不想离开我的房，但我告诉她我要准备上班了。

当妈妈离开房间后，自己一人在房的我，突然间流起眼泪了。我知道我很伤心但我知道还没来得及反应。回到公司跟上司说了要取消澳洲之旅，她就叫我快点回家不用上班了。谢谢所有很疼爱和关心我的同事们。

回到家跟妈妈吃了早餐后，就睡了一觉。然后受到哥哥的电话就出发去富贵那里了。之后的五天都在那里度过了。在那期间，我一滴眼泪都没流过。这是坚强吗？我不晓得为何我能一滴眼泪都没有。出奔那天，爸爸交代不能哭，因为他是师公。当时还没有任何感受，因为在期间都能看到师公，只不过师公是躺在棺材里。

记得22那天去拿师公的骨灰，那天的我很突然的感觉的空虚了。开始感觉到师公走了是个现实。我再也没办法看到他，触摸到他了。剩下的只是回忆，看到的只是照片。莫名其妙的空虚感一直冲着我而来。之后那几天我都很伤心。真的崩溃了。

本来还打算新年去看师公，没想到再也看不到了。看着师公的尸体，很想抓着师公的手。因为他生前我都会一直抓着他的手。那一份空虚，我无法用任何字体来形容。 我的心痛了。

记得要坚强

当我和Kitty接触时。。。

一路以来在别人的眼中我都是个很坚强的人。或许是因为我高调的感觉，或者是因为我在第一班科室的关系。其实啊，在我搭入中学的那一刻，我那自我保护的心变得很强烈，为了保护自己，我不知不觉地对男生产生了一个戒心。我变得很凶，特别是在男生的面前，我变得很賗，仿佛把别人看低，尤其是男生。（因在我的班里，女生中比男生多一两倍）那时的我根本不在乎别人的眼光。我觉得喜欢我的人就会喜欢我，我不需要去讨好别人。

倔强的我也不允许自己在别人面前倒下来。我不会透露我脆弱的一面。就算我再怎么难过，我都是嘻嘻哈哈的出现在别人面前。就算是好好的朋友面前，我也如此。这样的生活其实过的很累。所以我决定了要改。改了过后，我在别人的眼光的确不一样了。

在2009年开始认识的朋友们，在他们眼里的我是个乖乖的女孩。我很害羞，话不多，可爱，需要被保护的一个女孩。我把我的心没锁的那么紧。直到现在2013年，我遇见的人都觉得我的人很soft，可爱，要被保护的。我自我保护的心态的确没那么强了，甚至可以说变得脆弱了。这个改变友好的，当然也有不好之初。

自从回复单身后，我都一直很怕，很怕再一次受伤害。把一切都放在心里。偶尔会跟某某朋友讲下心事。都快4年了。因为快到12月了，不知道为什么今年的心情特别觉得难受。放工了自己一人在回家的途中，当听到悲伤情歌时，会特别的想哭。心里面觉得特别的痛。很想把那时的心情告诉人，很想大哭一场。我以为可以在她们面前讲出来，以为可以在她们的陪伴下哭出来，但原来我做不出。我才发现，虽然变脆弱了，我那自我保护的心态还是很强烈的。

就在那一天，也许是因为喝了有酒精的饮料，我把我的心生告诉了他。其实我并没有第一时间告诉他，我也是想了一下才决定要告诉他。平常来说，我是会想了很多次才会讲出来的。那时我想了一次就告诉他，

那一番话是我根本没用勇气说出来的。就算我再多么的想说出来，我还是没办法透露出来。也许是因为酒精的关系，也也许那个人是他，所以我终于讲了出来。当我说了‘我很辛苦’那一句话，我的眼泪不知不觉地流了下来。也在他面前哭了出来。我都已经忘了上一次在别人面前哭是几久了。

那短短的几分钟好像把我的心给打开了。把我那份伤感的心给些温暖。他所讲的的确很温馨。我很感动也很感谢。让我回想了他以前为我做过的事情。能够在今生认识到他，我真的真的很幸运。所以我答应了自己要好好珍惜和守护我们之间的友情。你的那句‘我认识的Callie是很坚强的’的确让我觉得好温馨，让我觉得这世界是有人关怀我的。

我会努力的找回原来的自己。我会去争取自己的快乐。也许我不是最好的，但我会努力呈现出最好的我。我还是在康复中，所以就算低落，也请允许我大哭一场。太多因为伤感的眼泪留住是不好的。让它流走了会是根美好。

原来是脆弱的

闭上眼睛，用心去聆听您的心声

已是十一月了。两个月后我们就要迎接2014年的到来。回想起，时间真的过的很快。一眨眼就快过完了我二十二岁这一年。虽然还没有真真的过完2013年，但我很想写一下我在今年的心情是怎样的。

在2013年里是我开始人生第二阶段的开始。我在年头就把我的学生身份画个据点。在LengLeng帮我庆祝22岁生日那天，我就感觉到我已搭入了人生第二个阶段。我很清楚明白我是不会再回到学生生活了。原因是我已经放弃了念书的年头。虽然我很想念学校生活，但人总要接受事实。已经过了19年念书的生活，是时候出来赚钱养家了。

今年我生日时收到的祝福都是要我快快找个男朋友。哈哈，我的朋友们都很可爱。我知道她们都很关心我。前阵子跟许久没见面的lengleng聚会，突然间谈到了结婚。Ann Ann就说了理想结婚年龄是28岁。这也是我的理想结婚年龄，我也说了最早我可以接受是26岁。Ann Ann点下头表示她也同意我。然而她突然间说 “哎呀，很快就到了，你要快点找男朋友了，给你一年，一年好像不够，给你两年的时间快点去找男朋友”。听到这一番话，我真的很开心有怎么关心我的好友。

说真的，我已单身快4年了。心里面已经空虚到不懂怎么形容了。想要恋爱的感觉早已出现，可是就是爱不下去。近期来每当我一个人在车里回家的途中听到了情歌，我都有很想落泪的感觉。也许是因为接近年尾的关系，我变得特别的脆弱。十二月对我来说是没什么值得期待的。几个月前，我翻看了我的部落各，看回了一片文章我的泪忍不住地落下来了。之后偶尔我也会看回那片文章。

我对那份感情早已放下。但我现在发觉原来我未能放下的那时受到的伤害。我没办法不去想那时的我心里面是有多难受。我已经很努力的去克服这个痛苦。 但我真的做不到。倔强性格的我，心里面难受到快崩溃了却不允许在别人面前流泪的我，真的无法呼吸了和别人说我还难过，他们只会觉得是我放不下那段感情。感情和伤害是两回事。还难过不一定是代表还爱着对方。

你可以问我为何四年了还放不下，我可以回你有些事就算再多久，就算你是铁人也未必能做得到。很想把这份写到好好的，可是我已写不下去了。心里面的伤，用字体是表达不到的。四年了还放不下，我也很恨我自己。我不期待十二月，也不期待圣诞节。

爱情这件事

爱情这件事可以很简单很开心，也可以很复杂很难过。简单开心就是我爱你你爱我，复杂难过就是有一方不爱不再爱甚至变成恨。爱情这件事并没有对与错。也不因该有后悔这两个字。我相信每个人当他们开始一段感情时，都是抱着幸福美满的心态。因为对彼此有爱有感觉才会决定要在一次。所以说为何要爱，爱了过后又要后悔和恨呢？

我经历过三段恋情。当然有快乐和幸福，还有伤心痛苦和悲哀。虽然如此，我并没有后悔过开始任何一段恋情。看过我的部落各的朋友们都因该知道我第三段恋情是令我最难忘也最难过的一个。最难忘因为我很爱他，最难过也是因为我很爱他。我难过不是因为我很他，我没恨过他。只不过我还未能完完全全的放下分手时带给我的伤害。那个感觉不是简单的能用任何字体来解释。有时候想起那时发生过的事，我还会难过。

我觉得如果要“后悔”这两个字放在爱情里的话，因该是用在后悔没有好好的爱惜一个人。人人都会说要珍惜眼前人，但我们偏偏就是不会爱惜眼前人。就这样我们不断地在爱情里找到后悔这两个字。我也有后悔过为何当初不好好珍惜某个人。但我很幸运呢！因为昨日的后悔我能在近日补偿。

我知道不是每个人都像我能够补偿昨日的后悔。我也知道不是每个人都认同我所讲的。但我很清楚明白若我们的人生里有太多的后悔的话，哪会有空间剩给快乐呢？

但我现在有面对着一个问题。我的确很渴望开始新的恋情，一直等待一个人的人出现。不知道是否一个人太久了，我的心仿佛关闭了。好像完全不会动心了。朋友问我难道我没有对任何一个人动心或者有一点点感觉嚒。我真的没有，一点点也没有。有人告许我不要急着要恋爱，还年轻。我知道，我真的知道。只不过一个人太久了，心里面会空虚。太空虚的话，我会很难过。

无论怎样,结论是爱情这件事要自己体验过才能明白我所讲的。而且每个人对爱情都有不一样的概念。我们永远无法让别人认同我们，也无法解开爱情是什么。记得只要用心去爱，就会幸福了。

告白。爱情。友情。陌生人

已近很久没更新部洛格了。这一切都是因为我开始工作了。本来很想在这里告许大家我终于找到我的第一份工作，想跟大家分享我的工作是干什么的。还没来得及写，我就要跟大家说，我要辞职了。我会做到这个月尾就停了。我只能说这份工并不是我当初想象中那么的好。我不想多讲，因为我做到不愉快。

讲到‘告白’，我想我上一次的告白大约4年前。也代表我原来已经单身了约4年。在这4年里我改变了许多。我对爱情的看法改变了。我以往的恋情都是我先主动的，可是每个都不是我希望的长远。当我决定了不要再主动，却一个机会出现了，有人鼓励我要主动，也因为我不想错过一个我珍惜的人，我就告白了。有看我部落各的读者都因该知道我的那段恋情都是分手收场。

经过那段恋情后，我不再决定到底我要主动还是被动了。我只希望我不会错过好的缘分罢了。当然我也很希望我不需要主动，希望有人跟我告白。

近来我一直跟身边的朋友说我很想恋爱，很想找个男朋友。有些朋友问我 “你不要找男朋友嚒？", "你几时要找男朋友？”，“你快点找男朋友啦”。也有人跟我说 “谈恋爱是不好的”，“找男朋友只会让自己难过”，“你还年轻，不用急”。对，22岁的我的确是还年轻，可是对一个已经4年在爱情上空虚的我，的确觉得很难受。可是因为上一段恋情，让我仿佛对男生产生了一个可疑的心。我口里是说要恋爱，可是心里却关起来了。也许我还是会怕再一次被狠狠的伤害，所以就把心锁了。我也很害怕，一个人久了，要爱一个人也难。做人真难啊~

提到友情，我觉得千万不要在友情上产生了爱情。无论是怎样的友情都好，保持友情就好。提到友情，我发觉到我有个朋友好像跟以往不一样了。我觉得我那个朋友变得不想以前的她。也许她的生活方式不一样了，但我希望我们还能保持我们的友情，永久不变。我不希望我们会慢慢变得像陌生人。

陌生人，我希望有一天一个陌生人能走近我的世界里，然后我们变得不陌生。我还在等待一个陌生人的出现。我不知道他几时会出现，可能明天，可能下个月，可能一年后，也可能永不出现。看见别那些情侣甜蜜蜜的合照，我会羡慕。我很希望照片里的女主角是我。请问男主角，你几时会出现呢？

p/s : 我有个小小的要求，我希望那个男主角能体谅我对韩流和韩星还有对Hello Kitty的热爱。
n_n

Long Awaited TVXQ Catch Me Live in KL

It has been such a long time that I finally attended a concert by my favourite act. For those who know me, you should have know that I am a hug fan of TVXQ. I am proud to be known as cassiopeia. But one things that kept make me sad was that I did not event attend their concert once though they were here twice for concert. Many people asked me why I never attend their concert as it was so awesome. I could answer you I wanted to attend desperately. However, I am not born in a family that could understand why I am willing to spend tens of ringgit for a cd album where I could get a pirated one at RM5 each, not to mention about spending hundreds of ringgit for a concert where I gained nothing. And at that time, TVXQ were here for concert when I was still in secondary school. I don't own that much of money and also transport for the concert. What I could do was waiting for news coverage on TV and newspaper for the concert.

My mum once scolded me for non-stop buying TVXQ albums. It was when I showed her a picture of the album and told her I wanna buy that. I was 16 at that time, and each time before I buy something "expensive" (by expensive I mean it's over RM50), I will tell her first as if I am getting her permission to do so. Well, you can say I am being rebellious because despite of my mum's scolding, I will still proceed in buying TVXQ albums. As time goes by, my mum already accepted that I will buy TVXQ original album as she sometimes accompany me going to Speedy or Rock Corner to have a look at those CD albums. I was once hesitating whether I should buy the Asia version or the imported from Korea version of TVXQ 1st album as the Korea version was double the price of the Asia one. Surprisingly, my mum said it's up to me to buying which one instead of asking me to buy the cheaper one. Because of this, I realized that my mum has already accepted the fact that I won't buy non-original TVXQ albums. My mum does know that I buy lots of TVXQ album, but she didn't know exactly how many I own and how much I had spent on it. If she know I bought that TONE album for RM90, I will be dead meat.

Back to story, finally TVXQ is coming for a concert after 6 years. I finally have the chance to attend it and I have the transport to the venue. I knew I will get scolded so I bought the ticket without telling any of my family members. Until it was like 5 days before the D-day, I only told them I am attending the concert. And of course I got a little lecture even though I am going for the cheapest one. Imagine if I go for rock zone!!! But then, for sure my mum know I like TVXQ very much. Although she gave me lecture on it, I knew that she cares for me very much, she just doesn't want me to spend money recklessly. She actually worried that I will get lost on the way to Shah Alam. Oh well, for TVXQ, I gotta go no matter what.

The concert started around 6.10pm. And TVXQ came on stage in white suit. Yes! Real prince charming in white appeared on stage. Oh ya, before that, I must explain that I will be talking more on U-know Yunho as he is my fav. Max Changmin is awesome too, it's just that I can't take my eyes off Yunho. I have always wanted to watch their performances of Rising Sun, Mirotic and O Jung Ban Hap without JYJ. Please don't get misunderstand, I just wanted to know how they can perform the whole song with just the two of them. And yes, TVXQ did not disappoint anyone while performing those songs. It is just so awesome. The stage still look so small to me even though there were just two of them. 

During their solo part, Yunho performed Honey Funny Bunny. And I never expected he could do those kind of dance. OMG, it's just so smexy!! I was shouting like crazy when he did that! OMG!! I became crazy again when the screen showing VCR of him giving Sulli a peck at the cheek while Before U Go was playing as the background music. Actually I wanted to watch the whole performance of Before U Go, but the performance was just so little for that song. That was the only part where I am a little bit disappointed because I love that songs very much. 

Concert won't be perfect without some cute props. Mini planes were brought on stage and TVXQ took a ride on it. The plane was supposed to bring TVXQ to the front stage and landed there, but the one that Yunho rode on experienced some technical problem and it was hanging on air while it was landing. And yes, this kid decided to jump down from the plane as it wasn't going to land at all. I was worried like mad when he jumped down. All the fans including me kept chanting "andwae" but he still jump down. Luckily he was not hurt at all.

There was a time where Yunho was running like a kid on stage. And at that moment, something just popped up in my mind. Where else can I find a more perfect man other than Yunho? He is charismatic, he has the charm to melt everyone's heart, he can be strict and fierce and yet he is cute. I love his solo dancing part where he did handstand. I knew he will do that but I din expect that he did that in that white suit. Oh my prince charming!!! By the way, Changmin is just so cute! He may be a grown up now, but deep in cassies' hearts, he is still the maknae!! Haha.

I was a bit emotional when they sang medley of their old songs and when the VCR playing footage of their old days. My friend beside me dropped her tears during that VCR. That VCR could be longer if it weren't for the split (Homin and JYJ). I hold back my tears because I don't want to be ugly duckling during the concert. I think that I should be happy as I finally attended their concert!! n_n

Fan chant for Mirotic was awesome!!! I am proud to be part of that. And I am also proud to be part of the red ocean. It was amazing! The hand held banner is meaningful! I am glad that I do not miss this concert. I fell more in love with TVXQ and Yunho now. 

WE ARE T!!!

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On another, I found an iPhone when I was about to leave the stadium. Oh well, to be exact, it was the cassies in front of me found that phone and asked whether it belongs to me or my friends. It wasn't ours and that cassies kept on asking what to do with that phone. My friends were rushing to airport and I know that cassies was also rushing. So I decided to take care of that phone and I managed to return that phone to its owner. Luckily the phone owner didn't lock her phone with password, or else I couldn't contact her on the spot. Haha, be more careful next time ya, the iPhone owner!! n_n

For all the pictures here, credit on the picture itself ya!

I ♥ Pudding.to

Do you?

Just like what you saw in the picture above, I am deeply in love with Pudding.to. Pudding.to is a fun and smart photo sharing apps (disclaimed by itself). When I mention on photo sharing app, I am sure you will think of Instagram. And yes, I use both apps for sharing my photos. 

When I got my smartphone around seven months ago, the first app that I downloaded was Pudding.to. Then only it comes to Instagram and Facebook. Some of you may know that answer, the first answer on why I play Pudding.to is because it's Korea-related (imma Korean freak). 

My profile

I treasure Pudding.to very much. I do post a lot of photos on Pudding.to but I don't just simply post like what I did on Instagram. I don't have much followers in Pudding.to but I treasure every followers and 'likes' very much. I don't follow many person too, but I love their photos to the max. And yea, most of them are Koreans.

Aside from Koreans, I love their filters very much. It is much more better than Instagram like seriously!!! And it enables me to upload photos in rectangular shapes and I can combine four photos at the same time without using other app. This is really convenient and nice. 

NO!!!!!

Yesterday, I received a sad news, a very very sad news. Pudding.to is closing on May 20. I feel like my heart being stabbed upon reading the news. OMG, I really can't believe that such an amazing app is closing down soon. They are closing due to their internal affairs and I am guessing some money-related problems. They know that many fans are using it and they will be providing us to download all the photos uploaded on Pudding.to.

I sincerely hope that they could work out their problems and relaunch Pudding.to soon. I am really in love with this photo sharing app. Please come back soon, okay?

Will be missing that notification icon.

Undecided...

Yesterday, I went for my first ever job interview in my life. It was an exhibition company located about 10 minutes from my house. I was actually hope that I can get the job because it is so near to my house that I won't have to spend too much time in traffic just to go for work or back home. But after leaving the company, I have no idea why I feel a little disappointed.

The interview went smooth and I did not get asked those common questions and the unique thing was that the medium used is not English but Mandarin. It went so smooth that I almost feel like bring hired right after the interview. But soon after that, I somehow wish they will say no to me so that I have an excuse not to work in that company.

The company is much more smaller than what I expected. But that is not my main concern, but I have no idea why I hope that they will say no to me. I don't really know what I really want. What's wrong with me?

And hell yea, I dyed my pink hair to dark colour. I feel like I am changed back to the old me. I think I became a happier person since I bleached my hair. However, the moment I removed my pink hair, I have become the emo me.

Where can I find a job that allows me to have neon colour hair? 나 정말 모르겠어....

寂寞还是孤单？

从今以后，我要好好爱自己。。

   其实我现在是否享受一个人的生活，我不确定。在车上听见电台播的情歌，我原来还会伤心。我感觉得到，那一刻我的心的确在痛。我很确定我已放下了那段感情。现在的我也很确定，我未能放下那时带来的伤痕。也许我真的需要有个人陪在我身边。。。。

习 惯 了 晚 睡 、只 为 了 等 一 个 劝 我 早 点 睡 然 后 跟 我 说 晚 安 的 人... ♥

n_n