For many many times, I have told myself to hold back and not to be busybody. But the soft-hearted side of me keep forgetting this and tend to keep myself busy over other people matters again. I think it is embedded within myself to help others at least in being a listener and try to give some opinions because I truly know what's the feeling like when you want to speak to someone but there isn't somebody out there.
I did the same thing again and this time I do get myself into some trouble. It seems like I have lost something but at the same time I do feel great for knowing this earlier. It is better to lose something before it is too late. I think I gained more this time rather than losing more. Nevertheless, human is still human and I am those emotional one. I can't keep myself being too optimistic for not feeling sad for what happen. It has been long since I feel so emotional again.
Everytime when I feel sad, I have no idea why I would automatically think of the past. It has been near to 7 years, ridiculously I still feel overly sad thinking of that moment. I love myself very much that I also hate myself very much for being so pathetic. Why can't I get over that matter? Do I really need 10 years to fully let it go? Do I need to wait till I am 28? I thought my tears have dried out at that times, but why there are more? Why do I have so much tears? At times, I not sure whether I am lucky to have experience that at a young age or unlucky for having to experience that so early. It has then changed my perception over boy-girl relationship.
All the while, it will be a lie if I say do not want to be involve in a relationship. However, previous experience has stopped me from being one. I am truly afraid that similar thing will happen once again and I do not have the courage to experience it once more. I have been shutting it down for near to 7 years. I am curious when will I be able to open the door again. I just wish to stay happy.
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