There is always someone like that.

Ranting out the problem you face on a social networking sites is childish, I know. But there are times you feel very frustrated that you needed a space to rant it out. Speaking to someone is good, but there are many times where you couldn't find a suitable person to can just listen to your ranting wholeheartedly. 

Do you ever encounter a person who seems so reliable but then you slowly realize he/she isn't that great but actually worst? He/she seems to be so reliable, a responsible person and could solve any problem. But then when things really get worse or trouble risen, he/she actually try to swift it away to other people like it is non of her business? I believe there is one like that wherever you go.

I do slowly realize the existence of this person in my new career path. At first, I do think she is reliable and a responsible person. Slowly, I get to know that she isn't that great though. I am not saying when trouble comes she should have take the whole responsibility. I mean we could have join responsibility and solve the problem together.

But what I have been getting is whenever we co-handle a project together, when a trouble comes she will try to put it all to me. And for those that she is in charged of, I am not idea why I am the one always getting blamed or scolded for all her wrongdoing. I can assist when you aren't free, but that wasn't my responsibility to deal with. 

You seems to be caring that you are taking all the necessary stuffs with you so that I do not have to bring that much. But all you do was packed everything yours into the bag and ask me to bring the whole bag saying you don't drive. Then what's the point acting like you are the one providing everything?

When you did some mistakes or encounter problem, you'll keep ranting for help. But when I needed guidance or assistance, are you really there to help me? You will only make it like I have done something very wrong and provide no solutions. 

I am really getting sick of this kind of person. Maybe you are good in befriending everyone, but I am different. I do not know why and how long I will need to get blamed on your behalf for all your mistakes.

泪。再一次。流下。

已过了很久。今年是第八年,这样就八年了。还以为一切都过了,放下了,不再难过了。

那一天,坐着同事的车回家。驾着车的他望过来坐着隔壁的我,问我要不要先把东西放在办公室。理所当然我会望回去回答他。就在那一刻,我脑海里出现一刻很熟悉的一幕。八年前,我也曾经这样望着那时的他, 我记得是很甜蜜的。我的心当时突然觉得很害怕,很害怕。我呆一下下。同事问了我两次,我才开到口回复他。

那个时候,我发现原来我根本还没放下八年前的事。我还很在意那时的伤。我害怕那时所发生的会重来一次。我好想找个人来聊聊,可是我说不出口。我不想把我的伤感带给别人。装没事是真的很难。曾经答应自己不要再为那时的事流泪,可是我做不到。我还是很想哭。

原来我那么的没用。

2017, 旺桃花是吗?

到了2017年，面书上有很多那些说说你的2017的。不知到是巧合还是什么的，答案都蛮一致的。先是 

后来是

再来是

到了这，我家已经觉得好好笑。之后我又再玩就拿到这

我告诉自己这些已足以让我笑翻肚子了。真的没想到接下来的也是那样

所以面书上想告诉我2017我是旺桃花吗？哈哈

Always want a peaceful January.

The month of January is always the month that I am anticipating for. No other reason aside as it is my birth month. In younger days, I would expect how many people would be wishing me, how many gifts will I get and so on. As I get older, I just wish for one thing. I hope I can spend my birthday calmly and peacefully. I no longer need a lot of people around me to celebrate it with me. As long as I have sincere friends and family by my side, I am more than content. And I am always grateful to have those friends who never forget my birthday and take effort to take me out, to give me something on time for my birthday. 

I realized this when I get older. Old friends who know you well no longer try to ask you out on your exact birthday. They will do it in advance or at a later date. All because they know you may want to spend that day with someone very dear to you. I really am very grateful to have not only one, but a bunch of friends who are so caring.

I have forgotten since which year, my dearest friends started to have only one and same wish for my birthday. That wish is no other than me getting a boyfriend who love me sincerely. I stay single since my last relationship back in 2008, it is hitting the the 9th year in 2017. I have be single all the while for nine years. I know it sounds ridiculous but there are people out there who are still virgin in relationship for the entire life too. So I don't really think my condition is that of a big deal. While I do wish to once again experience the taste of dating, I am taking my step real slow. I have kind of getting used to be alone, I know this doesn't do good but habit is a habit, hard to change. But fear not my dear friends, I will give more effort to come out from the shell and started looking for the right guy.

This year not not only that my birthday fell on a weekday, but that I need to go for event. It was a really long day for me, the 11th, 12th and 13th. I experienced what I wish to avoid facing during my birthday. On the 11th, I had a very long day dealing with artwork for clients, on the 12th a very long working hours and drenched in sweat and I become so smelly on my birthday, and on 13th client throwing tantrum at me for thing that partly not my fault (but I have to take responsibility too since I am the person in charged).

It is just some mishap that always happen in life and I shall not mind too much of it. I just wish for the work to end smoothly and everything to come peacefully till end of Chinese New Year. I will and always hope for a peace and calm January.

Last but not least, I still wanna wish myself a Happy Birthday!