Assumption or Expectation? I see no difference and it kills

Two years ago, I have decided to quit my career as a media planner, or even so to quit the media line. It took me for more than 6 months to finally come with this decision. It wasn't an easy one because each step you take play a little to your future journey. While I am still young and have little to no commitment now, I have decided to pursue something which I wanted to do since I was 16.

The reason behind making a drastic change is definitely to fulfill one of my dreams and I take it as a stepping stone for me to work at my dream country. I have finally be able to put my words into action and I finally took up an esthetician course. I clearly remembered that the tutor asked the reason of me taking the course, where do I want to work upon finishing the course. While it wasn't in a short term plan, I did say I wanted to go Korea.

I have given it a very careful thought. The chance for me to be able to work at Korea as a media planner is really really small. That's is why I have decided to quit my job and get a certificate in beauty therapy. At least, I got a skill and it shall help me in getting into Korean company.

Now, I have come to realize that people do take words seriously and it is way beyond my understanding. I am not sure whether they think too lightly on career pathways or maybe I am the one who knows nothing. The people from my beauty academy are thinking that I am going to Korea soon to be a beauty therapist. I am not sure what makes them keep thinking that I am going oversea soon.

Everytime when I was back to the academy or I texted them, they will surely ask me when am I going Korea or whether I have already gone oversea. I wonder what makes them think it is that easy to go oversea. Do they really think it is that easy to get a job with just a beauty cert? Even though I have mentioned that I wanted to work at Korea, it doesn't mean I will go right away upon completion my beauty course.

I wanted to work in a company here in Malaysia that provides me opportunity to go Korea, not just me blindly go there looking for a job. While I have little commitment, it doesn't mean I have no commitment at all. What I said at that time doesn't mean it is still applicable now. Yes, I do still wanna work at Korea, but the career path can change accordingly. Please don't just simply put assumption on people.

Thanks for not forgetting

Two weeks ago, it wasn't just a normal Thursday for me. It was Thursday that I have been waiting for couple of weeks. It was the day Moonshot team came to Malaysia for a second time. This time it was for the launch of Microfit and Moonflash Cushion. This time around they brought the ambassador Sandara Park along to Mid Valley. But my focus here isn't for Dara (although she is truly a goddess). My focus has always been for the Moonshot Boys.

If you have read my previous post about Moonshot, you would know how different Moonshot is from other brands is their male makeup artist. Just like last time when they came for the launch, three Moonshot Boys were in town for the event. I get to know the news about Moonshot coming over way earlier than the official news release, and of course I got to know which of the Moonshot Boys were coming.

I got very excited on knowing who's coming because I know all three of them and they all know who I am too. And most importantly, one of them is someone whom I wanted to meet again desperately. Why? Because I have made promise with him to come to Korea again and meet him 2 years later when I was in Korea during autumn 2014. Yes, it was Chang Hyun.

I have been planning to go to Korea during autumn this year to fulfill my promise and also I wish to explore Korea again. I have never thought I could meet him again so much earlier. And we are meeting not in Korea, but here in Malaysia. It will be a long post if I were to spurt out the details of what happened that day. It was my longest day at Mid Valley. I was there from 11am to 11pm, all just because I want to meet the Moonshot Boys. I bumped into them coincidentally when I went to Aeon Big to buy something. They were there to buy some drinks and snacks and not forgetting beers.

I still remember how happy I were and how they reacted upon seeing him. Greeted me cheerfully and not forgetting asking me 어떡해 알았어요? It was mere luck to bump into them there and I really have no idea they were there. And they did really wonder how I knew they were they. Nevertheless, I am truly very happy that all three of them recognized me right away and greeted me happily. 

Chang Hyun was very busy the whole time during that day. Am glad that me and my friend went there earlier and got the chance to speak with them and hand over the gifts to them. The only time I got to talk to him like personally one to one was when he put on make up for me. And I will never forget how shy he was in returning the heart sign when I showed him one. 

Thanks for still remembering me despite it has been two years. I will make my way to meet you in Korea 谈this year. Let's keep in touch and help me with the autumn make up. 오빠, 나한테기다려 주세요!

No one hopes to be pathetic

For many many times, I have told myself to hold back and not to be busybody. But the soft-hearted side of me keep forgetting this and tend to keep myself busy over other people matters again. I think it is embedded within myself to help others at least in being a listener and try to give some opinions because I truly know what's the feeling like when you want to speak to someone but there isn't somebody out there.

I did the same thing again and this time I do get myself into some trouble. It seems like I have lost something but at the same time I do feel great for knowing this earlier. It is better to lose something before it is too late. I think I gained more this time rather than losing more. Nevertheless, human is still human and I am those emotional one. I can't keep myself being too optimistic for not feeling sad for what happen. It has been long since I feel so emotional again. 

Everytime when I feel sad, I have no idea why I would automatically think of the past. It has been near to 7 years, ridiculously I still feel overly sad thinking of that moment. I love myself very much that I also hate myself very much for being so pathetic. Why can't I get over that matter? Do I really need 10 years to fully let it go? Do I need to wait till I am 28? I thought my tears have dried out at that times, but why there are more? Why do I have so much tears? At times, I not sure whether I am lucky to have experience that at a young age or unlucky for having to experience that so early. It has then changed my perception over boy-girl relationship.

All the while, it will be a lie if I say do not want to be involve in a relationship. However, previous experience has stopped me from being one. I am truly afraid that similar thing will happen once again and I do not have the courage to experience it once more. I have been shutting it down for near to 7 years. I am curious when will I be able to open the door again. I just wish to stay happy.

It's been long

Facebook has this kind of reminder thingy where it reminds you what you did or post on today few years ago. It is really nice as you can reminisce what you have done years ago.

It was 14th Dec that day. Facebook reminds me of what I did on 14th few years back. Actually 14th Dec is a hug day for Koreans, it is some kind of Valentine's day. It is a day that have different meaning for me. Kind of anniversary but doesn't worth to be celebrated for. It marks the 6th consecutive years of me being single since my last relationship.

I didn't know that relationship would make me stay single for so long. It has been a precious memory for me but it also haunt me about being in a relationship. I wish my heart wouldn't be hurt like this anymore in the future.

Sometime even until now, I will be emotional thinking about the memories I have had. Not because of the particular person, but because of the particular memories. 

What does Clubbing means to you?

I have always like the idea of clubbing. To some people, clubbing to them is associated with a bad meaning, getting drunk and out of control, or even involve in some drug related substances. Actually, clubbing isn't that bad nor dangerous as what your parents told you. But it is undeniable that you need to listen to your parents' advice on be extra careful when you go to club. 

So what does clubbing means to me? To me, clubbing is a form of relaxation for human being, both physically and mentally. Clubbing isn't just about swallowing alcoholic liquid and moving your body to the left and right. It is a form of socializing with your friends, get to know your friends better and even get to know new friends. 

For this to happen, first and foremost, you have to mingle with the right people. The right people I mean here are not those usual gang that you went out with having tea or coffee session. These persons must be outgoing, sociable, and most importantly a drinker. If he or she doesn't drink, why would you want her/him to be at the club? Don't tell me orange juice taste better at clubs.

Secondly, you would need someone who are good at playing games. I am not referring to those games with full concentration like chess. I am talking bout card games, dice and some simple and easy to play games. We usually play games like Big Two (or better known as Chor Dai Dee), Blackjack or dice games. You don't have to be really good at it, knowing the basic rules will do. If these games are too boring, you will always have that someone who always have new games to introduce to you all. 

Thirdly, it is always an advantage to club with someone who can dance. The dance here I am not referring to those hip hop or b-boy, those street dance. I am talking about those who can feel the music and move with the rhythm. If you still don't get it, we need someone like 'I jump, you jump'. We don't need fancy clubbers who dance like a pro, all we need is someone who can "move it move it" together with us. 

Not forgetting this, I shall advise you to club with small gang, around 5-6 people is the best. Why? If you ask me isn't it the more the merrier, I will say NO. The more people you have, the less fun you get. When we go to club, there is an opportunity to know new friends. If you tend to party with a whole bunch of friends, all you get to mingle with the same bunch of people. We Malaysian are still very shy in approaching people. How la people dare to approach you when you are surrounded with one whole gang of people? Do remember this, lesser people more space.

Talking as if I am a frequent clubber, actually I am not. I don't remember when was the last time I went to a club, maybe around 2 years ago. Why? Because I have always been to club with a whole bunch of people. And in the whole bunch of people, not everyone drink or dance. With these people around, the level of FUN-ness will surely get reduced. I am a very cautious people, I don't get to really free myself when I am with people that I am not close with. I have yet to really get the right people to club with. But I do have form my own gang of drinking buddies.

My drinking buddies

We always went to nearby for a drink session and until recently, we went for another round at a place slightly further than our homes. This time, we not only went for just a drink, we also went to club. I think it has been over 2 years since I last went to a club. And probably the best one of all the clubbing experiences I have it here (except for the one I visited in Busan back in 2012).

There is no dance floor nor any Kpop songs (my fav) played but I do enjoy myself to the most. I don't dance like there is no tomorrow, but through dancing I have shredded off all the stress accumulated since I started working after graduated from my degree course. My shoulder feel much more lighter than before and I feel refreshed, both my mind and body. I know there are people out there thinking clubbing is a waste of time and money and is an unhealthy lifestyle. Different people have and prefer different methods to release stress. I am not saying that one should go clubbing whenever they have a need to release stress. Go for clubbing once in a while wouldn't really damage you that much isn't it? I am not asking you to visit very high end clubs and drink tonnes of alcohol or drink some fancy wine or champagne. Just bear in mind that having moderate alcoholic drinks can help in blood circulation. And dancing actually makes you feel younger, at least in your heart.

You must remember, you only live once. Why not try something fast pace and exciting while you still have the energy and passion? It wouldn't feel the same when you do it at a later age though you are doing the same thing. Youth doesn't stop for you and do appreciate and make use of it when you are at it. Go to clubs people!